


A Thing Of Beauty, I know Will Never Fade Away.

by ManicEuphoric



Category: Shingeki, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Drug Use, F/F, Mental Health Issues, Mikannie endgame, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, slowburn-ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:20:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29967663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManicEuphoric/pseuds/ManicEuphoric
Summary: They've both got issues and completely contrasting lived and experiences. But opposites attract right?In where a dispute over a seat, a sports rivalry and a sick prank lead into the best thing Mikasa and Annie could ever have. But it's not without hardship.--Mikannie angsty high school au loosely based off "Disgusting" by lithiumnails (reposted by balikat)This is basically a petri dish of both my personal experiences and inspiration from fiction i consume so enjoy and feel free to tell me if i should add tags.Marked E just in case, any smut will be disclosed in the chapter title and i'll attatch a warning right before it starts and after it ends as well
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Minor Annie Leonhart/Hitch Dreyse
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	1. I saw in you what life was missing, you lit a flame that consumed my hate.

The loud blaring of Annie’s alarm echoed through the small bedroom, shooting awake she quickly silenced the device “Fuck’s sake…”

Needless to say, she was not a morning person. Especially not when the mortifying ordeal of attending high school was a daily torture she had to endure. 

At least Reiner and Bertolt made it bearable. 

Hurrying downstairs, she tossed on a tank-top slung over her desk chair, her favorite white hoodie and whatever skinny jeans she saw first. 

Her mom was passed out on the couch again, great. Fucking awesome. Now she had the amazing choice of walking or skipping class altogether. 

“Yo, mind giving me a lift? Mom’s gone for work already.” She messaged Bert and Reiner, they were honestly her only friends around. Those two were a godsend for her, not that she’d ever tell a soul.

“Sure, see you in 5 okay?” Bertolt’s reply was quick.

“Neat, you the goat.” She sent back before grabbing a twenty for lunch along with a pack of Oreos for the ride to school and stuffing them into her bag.

“Fuckin’ hell…” she mumbled to herself, pouring the half empty glass of scotch her mom had left on the coffee table into the sink before slamming it down loudly on the counter.

“Huh- wha?! How late is it?” Her mom asked, rubbing the sleepiness out of her eyes. 

“It’s eight thirty, thank you very much by the way.” Was all she replied before storming out of the door and slamming it closed.

Bertolt arrived only a few minutes later, honking the horn of his truck.

“Hop on in!” He yelled and rolled the window of the rustbucket down, Reiner popping up from the passenger seat and scooting closer to make room for Annie.

“Hey, did you hear? Apparently Hitch is gonna throw one of her, and i quote, “Legendary” parties next saturday. You goin’ ? I wanted to take you ‘n Bert along and get shitfaced.” Reiner explained as he fiddled with the radio, settling on some cheesy 00’s buttrock. 

“I don’t know, depends on who’s gonna be there. I don’t wanna hang around some fuckin’ nerds who kill my vibe.” Annie sighed, fishing in her pockets to find a smashed up cigarette carton containing another three.

Placing one of them between her lips she looks for her lighter, to no avail. Crap, must be in her other pants.

“You got a light?” She looks to Reiner who nods, lighting it before extending his hand “Sharing is caring.”

“Fuck you…” she grumbles, taking a drag before handing him one. 

“You wish.” The jock laughed way too loudly for this ungodly hour and lights his own.

“Seriously? I just replaced my air freshener…” Bertolt speaks as calmly as usual. 

It was moments like these that made the high school experience sort of okay-ish for Annie. Her friends were the only reason she hadn’t… left. Permanently. 

She stopped her thoughts from wandering to far in dark territory as she checked her phone. 

“I’ll be home late tonight. Dinner in the fridge.” Her mother never ceased to amaze in just how utterly fucking infuriating she could be.

\--

The rest of the ride to school sort of just… blended together. Reiner screaming along to Eye Of The Tiger at the top of his lungs didn’t do much good for her headache either.

“You guys wanna skip math and go smoke?” Annie asked as she collected her English textbook from her locker

“Dude, you still owe me for last week.” Reiner grumbled as he shook his head, stuffing his books into his bag. 

“Sharing is caring.” She stated with the biggest shit-eating grin she could muster.

“Seriously? Fuck you. Fine. But if we get busted, you made me.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you big ol’ sissy.” Annie threw the door of her locker shut as she made her way to the dreaded English class. 

She scrambled to find a seat in the back as quick as she could, trying to hide herself from any teacher or students that didn’t need to notice her.

“That’s my spot, move.” Mikasa coldly spoke

“Well boo-fucking-hoo princess. Is your name here?” Annie spat back, giving her a scowl.

“Oh you little usele-” she was interrupted by two boys rushing to her side, one of them like a blonde coconut and the other like a nerd trying too hard. Eren and Armin, great.

“Sorry about her. Let’s go Mikasa.” He smiled nervously, pointing to the seats next to them.

“I wanna sit next to the heater but that bi- you know what? Fuck this.” Mikasa slammed her fist down on Annie’s desk and sat next to her.. 

“You’ve got bite, I like that.” Annie decided to piss the raven haired girl even more “But you’re just some beefed up, domineering asshole.” She scoffed. 

Okay, maybe she didn’t sound as cool as she planned. In fact this only seemed to make the girl bang her desk, causing a few of their classmates to look back at them.

“You shut your mouth you pathetic bag of beetle piss.” She growled 

This was the Mikasa she had always hated. Mikasa fucking Ackerman, who had always tried to one-up her.

“Oh this is gonna be fun-” Annie spoke through gritted teeth before being interrupted by their English teacher, Mr. Hannes walking in. 

“Mornin’ kids.” He slurred slightly, Annie knew full well he was hungover. 

“Today you’re gonna be doing some individual work, just make as many exercises as you can from page 93 on while I take a nap.” The blonde man mumbled before resting his head down on his arms.

“I can’t even believe you, how in the shitting hell can you even forget my name?! We’ve been in the same class for ten years!” Mikasa whisper yelled, this obviously seemed to be getting at her that was for sure.

“Listen I’ve got more people than you in my life, all of whom love to be pains in my ass. And with that said adios.” Annie rolled her eyes, cramming her book back into her backpack before leaving for the bathrooms 

“Hey! Wait up!” She heard behind her as Mikasa tried to keep her bag neat, thus taking longer.

When she finally got to the bathrooms the blonde sat down on the counter lined with sinks, grabbing her phone.

“Hannes is taking a nap, anyone free?” She sent to their group char, which Reiner had so affectionately named “2 idiots, 1 genius.”

Sure enough she got a text back from the so-called “genius” (yeah, as if.) 

“Be there in 2, gotta fake a fever. Wanna light up that blunt behind gym????” 

“Fuck yeah, got a crazy ass story. Chick might still be following me.” Annie exhaled through her nose, throwing the wrapper for her Snickers into the garbage can and putting her phone away.

She hopped off the counter only to find Mikasa in her face, who immediately pinned her against the wall. Damn this girl was strong.

Annie could see her biceps straining the material of Mikasa’s cream long sleeve shirt.

“We’re not done!” Mikasa yelled in her face before gritting her teeth. 

“Let me go you crazy bitch, what’s your problem? You’re fuckin’ obsessed with me!” Annie scoffed before pushing her away, only to spot a small frown on her face. Just for a split second she saw a whole different side to Mikasa, maybe that would be interesting if she weren’t a psychotic bitch. 

Sure enough that hardass scowl was on her face again. “How the fuck are you gonna be like that and think I won’t kick your ass?”

“It’s easy, you’re a pushover who thinks she deserves the world because she’s got the perfect little life.” Annie scoffed, everyone knew Mikasa had it all. Loving parents, money, good grades, even her own car. “No wonder everyone hates you, why do you think I despise you?”

“That’s… that’s not true…” Mikasa spoke uncharacteristically softly, she looked… broken. Defeated. “I’m not perfect, I don’t have that. Maybe I don’t want you to hate me!” The taller girl blurted out before she could think. 

“You want everyone to love you, right. Big surprise. Maybe your puppy-dog eyes work on someone else. Now fuck off before I get busted.” Annie was about to leave when she felt Mikasa pull her back by her arm. 

“I- Fuck you! Okay?! I just-” Mikasa couldn’t seem to get a full sentence out, on the verge of tears and blushing. “I hope you off yourself.” She quickly regained composure and walked past Annie, returning to class.

“What in the shitting hell…?” Annie mumbled to herself as she made her way to the back of the gym building.

\--

“There she is! Woman of the hour!” Reiner spoke, loud as ever, before taking a drag of the blunt he had so generously already lit. 

“C’mon, take a hit.” He held it out for Annie to take and pulled out his speaker. “This spot’ll be free for another two hours.” The synthetic beeps of the speaker being synced to his phone and raised to max volume rang in her ears as Bertolt strolled out to sit by them.

“Yo, put on that new Refused album.” Annie took a long drag and handed it to Bertolt who smiled sheepishly and passed to Reiner.

“The fuck do you mean new? War Music is like two years old, dude. Nah, I’m puttin’ on the Sex Pistols.” He shook his head, opting for Never Mind The Bollocks

“Y’know that Mikasa chick right? Eren’s weird sister, the total douche?” Annie asked and took another drag. 

“Homegirl flips her shit over the desk next to the heater and makes a scene, Hannes passes out like usual, I delta to the bathroom and guess what?” Annie pauses to allow Reiner and Bert’s curiosity to grow

“What?”

“This fuckin’ spaz pins me to the goddamn wall telling me about how ‘we’re not done yet’ . Total freak shit. I tell her no wonder everyone hates her with her perfect life and she breaks the fuck down, starts crying and stuttering how she doesn’t wanna be hated and just fuckin leaves.” Annie let out a laugh, but somehow it felt forced. Wrong. She’d have to talk to someone about that.

“Holy shit….” Reiner’s eyes widened “That is the biggest cap I’ve ever heard!” He bellowed before laughing 

“Oh get bent, any of you got Eren’s number? I’ll fuckin’ call her right this instant if he gives me her’s.” She shakes her head, pulling her phone out and opening the dial app

“Uhh yeah, I’ve even got her’s. We had to work on a project for history, so…” Bertolt shows her. 

“Diabolical.” She stifles her laughter and puts the call on speaker, hoping Mikasa would answer. Lo and behold two minutes later she did.

“Hey ‘Kasa, sup? I needed to talk to you.”

“You have some nerve calling me in class, especially after that. How the hell do you even know my number?”

“Uhh… a friend. Just uhh… remember what happened right? I wanna make sure I’m not hallucinating here.” Her speech started to slip and slur

“Of course you’re high. What did I expect? Well, you tactless ingrate, you decided to try and hurt my feelings by insinuating i’ve got a perfect life when you know full well that’s untrue. And if you tell anyone, and I mean anyone that i cried you’re dead.”

“Okay well, how about I come over to your place after B-ball practice and apologise for realsies?” Annie propositioned, she’d even let Mikasa win. Wait… the fuck was she saying? When did she start to care?

“Fine. I’ll drive you.” Mikasa answered, suddenly hanging up,

“So I bet you feel stupid.” Annie rolled her eyes and slipped her phone away into her hoodie’s pocket.

“Holy shit.” Reiner and Bertolt mumbled in disbelief


	2. Annie you save my soul. Can you let me have my heart?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An apology leads to way more feelings, confusion and drama than intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo! Sorry for the shorter update. Mikasa POV soon! In the meantime please leave kudos and a comment if you haven't as it shows me to keep going and that people like it.
> 
> It gets demotivating otherwise
> 
> In better news I made a fic playlist! Here you go!:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0jMZQW0if1rRYHqmNE0bai?si=3-Yw9zGvREOSEEZ-eg6tgg

Annie sighed and handed Reiner what was left of the most preem joint she’d had in a while “well boys, duty calls. If you see Hitch tell her I need more of this shit” She laughed lazily, putting eye drops in to get rid of the redness around her baby blues.

“And with that, I abandon you once more. Deuces.” Annie took a bow and walked off. 

“Peace, see you at lunch!” Reiner called out, followed by strained coughing. “Shit bro… you want some?”

“Uhhm… no thanks.” Bertolt’s nervous laughter was the last thing she heard before the double doors to the Maria High main building slammed shut behind her.

The blonde rummaged her bag for a bottle of deodorant and literally showered herself with it. “Smells fine, awesome.” 

Right before the annoying ring of the bell could rupture her eardrums, Annie made her way towards the dreaded math class.

In all honesty it wasn’t that bad. She was good at math but that meant trying, there was nothing she hated more than that. At least with Mr. Smith the experience would be less stressful and more unfunny joke-filled boredom.

Arriving in the classroom right before the bell she spotted a familiar mess of black hair sitting right where she wanted to take a seat.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Annie breathlessly complained to herself, seeing that the only open seat was next to Mikasa. The two taking the only pair of seats way in the back. Eren had opted to sit up front, next to Armin. He seemed to be paying more attention to Armin than anything… she’d have to take a mental note of that.

“One-one, game draw.” Mikasa flashed her teeth and let out a snide laugh.

“And here I thought I was the kid… Listen I’m sorry about all-” Annie was stopped by Mikasa shaking her head. 

“Not here. I told you, after practice. I’m not willing to get snooped on.” Mikasa stated emotionlessly, her face perfectly stoic as if it was sculpted from stone. Perfectly matching her amazing, rock hard abs, God those were hot…

Wait what? Oh hell no. She’d have to figure what that was out later.

“Okay, but I’m either taking you somewhere or to your place. My mom’s busy all day.” Annie lied. Truth be told she didn’t want anyone to know about her shitty home life, the crappy house and her alcoholic mom.

“Fine, but if you show up high I will leave.” She blankly stared at Annie. 

“Okay Miss. Robot.” Annie sighed as she leaned back in the cheap plastic chair.

“I’m not a robot, I just like speaking clearly.” Did she really feel the need to say that?

“Whatever, I’m gonna take a nap. See you at practice.” Since when did they get so chummy? These were the same girls that would fight almost every day just a year ago.

“Anachronistic fool…”

\--

The rest of the day blended together, for some reason she felt a need to apologise for breaking Mikasa like that. But why? When did they start caring?

Annie threw her jersey and shorts into the dressing room locker, slamming the metal door shut when she spotted Mikasa already waiting for her. 

“Come on.” She said, barely giving Annie time to get dressed as she was dragged along to Mikasa’s house.

“My parents are out and Eren is at Armin’s. We’ll be alone.” She sighed. Finally, this guilt could get off her chest.

What the hell? She’d been having thoughts like that a lot recently. Why was she feeling anything for Mikasa? Was it the recent showing of a more vulnerable side? Was she going crazy?

Riding along in Mikasa’s second hand, but remarkably clean and well maintained, BMW convertible felt both uncomfortable and amazing.

She had air conditioning. An actual functional AC. In the sweltering heat of a SoCal April? This was heaven. 

“Holy shit dude… you’ve gotta be loaded.” Annie said in amazement as she leaned back in the soft leather passenger seat.

“Eren’s parents are doctors.” She answered, focussing mostly on preventing them from dying in a burning wreck. “Why are you so vulgar?”

“Why not? Wait, I knew you were adopted I mean… unless some affair happened-” Annie stopped herself from devolving into something she couldn’t go back from.

“No, keep going. I know, white people don’t just spawn an Asian daughter.” Mikasa shook her head “I was adopted. My parents died when I was six. Murder-kidnapping ten years ago.”

She said it like it was the most normal thing in the world. Fuck.

“I’m sure you’d hate me if I said that I’m sorry, so instead I’ll tell you this: You’re pretty cool once you get past the bitchy exterior.” She flashed a smile at the girl, earning her a faint blush.

There it was again. She was complimenting her mortal enemy?

“We’re here.” The car pulled into the driveway, Annie hopping out over the door which caused Mikasa to growl at her. 

Oh she liked that. She liked that in more ways than one.

“Up here.” Mikasa led her up the stairs into what was presumably her room, and it shattered any expectations she had.

Completely black walls, filled with band posters. Annie spotted a few: My Chemical Romance, All Time Low, Bring Me The Horizon. Damn, she had taste.

Her room was surprisingly messy for someone so diligent. Albums, CD’s as well as vinyl’s, littered on a small dresser with a simple oak desk pushed against the wall opposite her bed, next to a table with shelves housing her small flatscreen, a ps4 and a radio.

“You’ve got some talent for decor, I’ll tell you that much.”

“That’s not what you’re here for.” Mikasa sat on her bed. “What you think you saw? You’re never telling a soul.” 

“Oh uhm… I’m sorry if I hit a sensitive spot-”

“No you’re not. You’re just another waste of time. If you stay quiet I’ll slide some pesky bottomfeeder like you a hundred dollars. Understood?” Mikasa portrayed no emotion at all throughout all of that.

“What..?” Annie was devastated? She acted so fucking nice for once and now Mikasa was a bigger dick than usual? What the fuck?

“You heard me. Stay quiet and you can get money to actually buy decent clothing for once.” The girl sneered

“Oh, I’m so sorry I don’t treat you like a goddess. Sorry that I don’t act like you’re perfect, like all your little friends do.” Annie felt the rage inside her begin to bubble.

“Sorry that I’m not loaded or sweet enough to you. Sorry for inconveniencing you because you love to avoid me. Or do you just avoid feeling anything? Well either way, I’m just your problem. So I’m sorry for existing, for not getting your permission or justification you stupid fucking control freak cunt!” Annie was left gasping air, her face turning red as the room seemed to turn into an oven.

“Do you honestly think of me like that?” That stupid fucking stoic face returned, but this time she looked on the verge of tears.

“You made me think of you like that. You made all of us. If you wanna change that the first place to start is yourself.” Annie leaned against the wall, slicking her hair back and re-tying her bun.

God she hated that… frown? Was she sad?

“I don’t… It’s hard for me to speak from emotion. I prefer speaking the way I do because it avoids unnecessary confusion and hurt. Though, I suppose that is inevitably what I caused.” The ravenette spoke softly, a tear dropping onto her simple black skirt.

“I- I want to be someone better. How do you do it? Taking everything in stride and keeping a smile? I can see you are hurting.” Annie was taken aback by the astute observation.

“Me? Pff… hell nah. I’m fine. I’m Gucci, more tha-” she was interrupted.

“Then show me your left bicep.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You heard me. Prove it. When you were changing for practice I had a suspicion. It’s up to you to confirm it or deny it.” Mikasa mumbled indistinguishably after she did it again.

Annie took a shaky breath and slid the hoodie off, her pink and purple tank top ruffled and slightly rolled up above her belly button. 

“I-Is that what you want?” She held out her left arm, the slide-on bandage flexing along with her muscles.

“Could I…?” Mikasa asked, looking like a lost puppy. She honestly didn’t want anyone to know, but this would be tit-for-tat. 

She just gave Mikasa a slow nod, after which the girl slid it down to her elbow and revealed a bicep full of messy cuts. Old, slowly healing ones and scars, horizontal and diagonal over the probably permanently red and purple flesh. Even fresh ones. 

Mikasa traced one of the newest ones, causing Annie to hiss in pain and shake slightly. “This can only be three days old, at most…” 

“You got me…” Annie’s fire, her bravado and humor all vanished as the depressive wave washed over her. Cat’s out of the bag. Now everyone would know she’s a masochistic lunatic freak.

“I’m sorry. I appreciate you trusting me enough to show me. Your secret is safe with me.” Mikasa flashed an awkward and shy smile. 

Annie slid her bandage back on before throwing the hoodie on again. “Uhh.. thanks.”

She rubbed her arm again, sitting next to Mikasa. “I’m… I’m sorry for never getting to know you. You’re amazing once you’re yourself. I can feel it.”

Mikasa’s eyes lit up like a christmas tree, it was hard to read just how she felt but Annie continued.

“You’re like a fuckin’ genius, you’re strong, you’re cute- “ her eyes widened when she realised what she said as the panic set in. “Oh uh- i’m- i’m sorry I just-”

Her panicked rambling stopped when she felt Mikasa’s lips on hers. Shit. She caught feelings.


	3. I Will Burn My Dread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa's feelings boil over, causing her to take rash action. It doesn't backfire though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy! This is a long one! I'm very sorry for that but I had way too many ideas. Listening to Bells Of Laguna Bend only made the room scene better.

Her body moved on it’s own. It all happened too fast. Her mind was racing. Oh God, what if she made things awkward? What if everyone would know?! She couldn’t be kissing Annie! How was sh-

The flood of anxious worry was stopped when Annie cupped her face between those rough, calloused hands. Her fingers were especially rough as they rubbed Mikasa’s temples.

She kissed back? She kissed back! Mikasa could drop dead happy now. Harboring, and suppressing years of unwanted feelings due to an unreasonable worry for unrequited love. How foolish of her.

No. She had to regain her composure, she could not be foolish around the woman who seemed to be destined for her.

But then her partner withdrew. No, partner was too formal. Romantic interest would be more appropriate. 

“I uhm… I suppose this is what they would mean with ‘Seal it with a kiss’ then?” Mikasa did her best to sound relaxed but what followed was the most forced and nervous laugh she had ever uttered into the world

“Uhh… yeah. Cool, listen uhh… that was great! Really, really great but I gotta go! Duty calls! My mom’s still sick!” Annie looked uncomfortable. From what Mikasa could gather on her face she would appear to be lying. 

Oh.

She didn’t want this.

She would get rejected.

This was not the desired outcome, she would not know what to do with this. 

“Alright but… can we talk later?” Mikasa stood up, smiling hopelessly at the object of her affection. 

“Sure yeah, see you at school!” The following smile would be all teeth. Both eyebrows raised. Shame and fear, that settled it. 

Mikasa was left reeling, letting herself fall down on her bed as she tried to keep herself from slipping.

Connecting her headphones to her phone, she let out a sigh. She was willing to intensify her efforts for a formal relationship with Annie. It would need time.

Rubbing her tired, bag filled eyes Mikasa listened to the incoming sound.

“You’re yellow, I'm natural blue.   
Let’s get together and be green like my insides  
At least I'll match your eyes  
Jealous and hypnotized  
Let's match our faces and be equally in love”

Why would her heart commit such a heinous act of treason to her brain? Ever since that day ten years ago she vowed to never develop a bond again, yet here she was.

Her night would be spent listening to the entire Waterparks discography once more, notable highlights included the tears which would escape her eyes on Sleep Alone, Crybaby, High Definition and I Felt Younger When We Met.

Then came wednesday, but there would be no sign of Annie… well she could just be sick from walking home in the cold night. Right?

Until Thursday rolled around. Mikasa’s sleepless state was beginning to show. Having Mitski’s Brand New City on repeat all night and trying to extract her number from what little social media information she had would prove difficult.

Friday, Annie was still missing. She would need to consult her friends for this. She would be snapped out of her reverie by the familiar voice of her adoptive brother

“You look like shit, what were you doing all night?” Eren asked, handing her a can of Monster. 

She let out a sigh, cracking the can open and taking a sip. The caffeine boost should keep her awake until she could sleep in. 

“Were you researching colleges again? Seriously, you’ve gotta stop that you’ve got another year.” He shook his head and tied his long hair into a bun.

“You look better when it’s tied back.” Classical. Avoiding the topic to avoid further hurt. Why did she need to be so calculating? Was this why Annie had left her?

“Don’t dodge the question, I’ll literally just look in your search history. Who knows what freaky shit I’ll find.” An over-energetic laugh escaped his lips as he sipped his own can.

Lunch would be ending within ten minutes. She had to act fast.

“I met someone, okay? I will tell you later. I have something I have to do first.” She mumbled and stood up from their table. Fixing her plain black skirt and tucking the Fall Out Boy shirt, the one she loved oh so much with the album cover of From Under The Cork Tree printed on it, into the skirt.

She would walk up the table currently occupied by whom she presumed to be Annie’s friends

Clearing her throat caught their attention. Good. “Excuse me, have either of you seen Annie lately?” 

“Uhh… not really. She just texted us she was sick, why? What’s it to you?” Reiner raised a brow as Bertolt shook his head “Did she really go that hard on you again?”

“Quite the opposite, I mean to talk to her. Could you give me her phone number?” Mikasa asked as politely as ever, it seemed to put the two into a discomforted state but they still obliged.

“Hey.” She simply sent, before adding on. 

2:43 PM “It’s Mikasa.” - Seen  
2:44 PM “I got your number from Reiner.” - Seen  
2:56 PM “Please talk to me.” - Seen  
3:01 PM “I’m sorry for what I did.” - Seen

Mikasa let out a frustrated sigj and decided to call her from the bathrooms, having faked a cough for the past two periods.

“Yo, it’s Annie. You know what to do.” Voicemail. Perfect.

3:03 PM “Annie please.” - Sent  
3:03 PM “I want to talk.” - Sent.

“Please just talk to me…” she mumbled to herself as Annie’s presence seemed like one sick fever dream. 

“To Hell with it.” She grabbed her bag, sneaking out of the front door to the main building and made her way towards Annie’s house

3:12 PM “I’m coming toward your house.” - Sent

She arrived out of breath, running through the afternoon sun in her signature scarf and carrying her bag.

Mikasa delivered 3 hard but fast knocks to the door, hearing some rumbling behind it which already removed part of the tension in her body. 

Soon a loud thud could be heard, followed by the grumbling of a familiar voice “Fuck me dude… who the hell could that be?” She opened up the door.

But she looked, in Eren’s rather vulgar but fitting terms, like shit. Her signature white hoodie and blue running shorts looked as if they were three days old, alright.

“May I please come in? I need to apologis- wait!”

Annie had tried to slam the door in her face. She could barely jam her foot in the frame before the blonde looked in her eyes. They portrayed what Mikasa assumed would be exhaustion, dread and depression. Great.

“Thought you were a cop. Don’t want you to catch this shit.” Annie avoided eye contact, utilised a higher inflection and bit down on her bottom lip. All the signature tells of a lie.

“Please. Talk to me.” Mikasa needed this, begged for this.

“Fine. Come up, get the poor jokes out of the way as well.” Annie let her into the beaten down home. Dishes and glasses littered the small wooden counter. Cracked deep blue paint and filthy windows, cheap wooden chairs and a second hand couch. Oh. Now she would feel bad for acting the way she did.

Annie’s room reminded her of her own: a plain black carpet on the floor, band posters lined up on the wall. Notable mentions being the Ramones, Refused (she would have to look into them.) and Sum 41. Her suspicions toward Annie’s affection for punk rock were correct.

Then she spotted a guitar resting against her bed, it was one of the most beautiful models she had ever seen.

“I had it custom made. Took me two months of working down at 7/11 to pay for this baby.” Annie’s fingers traced the glossy black material of the six string.

“What did you want?” That question stung as if it were a thousand wasps embedding themselves in her heart. Annie’s blue eyes looked off… too red, too relaxed. Now that she thought of it, she seemed clumsy and sluggish too.

“I wanted to apologise for the sudden kiss. It was inappropriate. As were the acquisition of your number through Reiner and the subsequent messages.” She sighed, sitting next to Annie but keeping herself at a distance.

“I know it’s not my place, but are you high at the moment?” She asked when Annie’s contemplative gaze became too much.

The blonde let out a hearty laugh “Hell yeah.” She rummaged through her closet and landed on a pile of clothes, taking a small baggie from her hoodie. 

“Want some? I got more than enough, tell Hitch I sent you and you can get a small discount.” She handed Mikasa the pills 

“What is this?”

“Best Oxy you’ll find in town, shit’s a fuckin’ dream. Feel like I’m on Cloud 9. Or I guess now I do, otherwise I just feel numb. My heart’s fuckin’ pounding.” Annie smiled at her and rested her hand on Mikasa’s thigh. Oh. 

“I have to decline. I still need to get home.” 

“Your loss.” Annie shrugged and threw the bag back into her closet. 

“Do you play a lot?” Mikasa asked and pointed toward the guitar.

“Yeah.”

“Can I hear?”

What followed was a sigh, one of relief. Annie’s smile was worth the world to Mikasa.

“Sure.”

She took the guitar into her hands, a contemplative look could be spotted.

“I’m sorry for being so push-”

She would be silenced by Annie’s index finger on her lips. “Shh. Enjoy the show.”

The display of sheer skill resulted in the most beautiful sound Mikasa would hear in a while.

(https://youtu.be/Tl2to6VkHG4 check him out by the way!)

“I- Wow… how long have you been playing?” Her uptight nature would vanish slowly, Annie chipping away at it bit by bit. 

“Since I was 12, so about 5 years now.” Annie let out a cocky chuckle “But this baby’s only a year old.” 

“Could I hear more?” Mikasa raised a brow and rested her hand on Annie’s thigh this time.

“Sure, oh and uhh… don’t be sorry okay? I just… I don’t know how to do feelings. And I’m not easy to be with.” Annie sighed as she looked into Mikasa’s eyes, the first time in four days and yet it already was the best moment in her life. 

“I don’t know feelings either. And I certainly don’t want easy, you know me.” Mikasa smiled brightly at her.

“I sure as shit do. You’re a hardass, y’know that? But…” Annie fiddled with the strings again

(https://youtu.be/V6ESLuloku0) 

“So am I. And I wanna try this thing, see where it brings us. But uhh… could we maybe keep it on the DL for a week or two? I wanna go Lowkey in case it doesn’t work out.” Annie smiled and put the instrument down.

“As for my apology…” her tone was different from her usual cocky and aggressive nature. She sounded… tender, vulnerable. As if she needed this as much as Mikasa.

Then she leaned in, pressing her soft lips onto Mikasa’s. Annie’s fingers tangled themselves in her hair, she was needy.

Mikasa was taken aback but quickly reciprocated, letting her hands snake up Annie’s sides all the way to her collarbone. 

Pulling back for air she smiled brightly, seeing Annie’s happiness only served to amplify her’s.

“You’re a great kisser Ackerman.” Annie would plant another feather light kiss on her cheek. “I wanna do this thing. Fuck everyone else. Fuck keeping it on the DL if you don’t want that. You’ve always been the one to keep me going, I just wish I’d known sooner.”

Annie’s words made her happier than ever. She felt… alive… for the first time in ten years. As if the numbness and the void were filled by Annie.

“I’d like that. I’m sure your friends would be nice to… hang out with.” She laughed at how formal she sounded 

“Oh, I am sure your friend group shall be satisfactory to spend time around as well.” Annie spoke in an overly dramatic tone before the pair bursted out into laughter.

“Y’know… you’re so fuckin’ cute when you smile. How’re you gonna be that hot, that ripped, and still look like a baby in a sweater when you laugh?” The compliment made her blush, hiding her face in her hands.

“You po- you have all of those things as well.” Mikasa tried to sound less… formal and cold. It was uncomfortable.

“Hmm… why don’t we put that to the test?” Annie spoke softly, kissing up Mikasa’s neck. The ravenette shivered from the affectionate touch. 

“Could we uhm… oh~! Could we wait? I don’t feel comfortable doing that yet…” she frowned.

“Of course, hey. Chin up. No problem. If anything I do ever makes you feel bad, just tell me okay? I promise I won’t get mad.” Annie smiled at her, rubbing small circles on Mikasa’s hand with her thumb.

“Thank you, you as well. Kissing is fine though. More than fine.” Mikasa pressed her lips onto Annie’s for a few seconds before pulling back. 

“Do you maybe want to go out tonight? Hitch is throwing a party. You can sleep over at my place and we can meet up with Reiner and Bertolt so you can get to know ‘em.” Annie proposed and tucked Mikasa’s hair behind her ear.

“You can invite Eren and Armin, I’m sure they’ll be all over each other and won’t notice us together, maybe even your other friends.” The blonde’s slender fingers caressed her face, causing her to blush. 

“Yeah. I will. Eren is an energetic drunk though, watch out. It’s the ADHD.” Mikasa explained before laughing “He once drank two bottles of tequila, by the end of the night he climbed two stories up to the roof only to jump down and break his foot.” 

Annie and Mikasa burst into laughter, embracing each other as they texted their respective friends with their free hand.

“I didn’t know you were a lesbian.” Annie tried to break the silence.

“I’m bisexual.” Mikasa explained and rested her head on Annie’s chest as they laid in her bed. 

“Noted. I guess I’m kinda obvious about being gay.” Annie played with Mikasa’s hair “you’re so pretty,”

“Thank you.” Her blush returned “Yes, you dating Hitch was the tell. Besides, why were you dating someone in college?” 

“Why not, right? Hitch and I weren’t an item as much as we were friends with benefits who got confused.” The smaller girl explained. Good, Mikasa wouldn’t worry now.

“See? I’ve only got eyes for you.” Annie smiled before the horn of a car could be heard “that’s our ride.” Annie took off her hoodie and decided on a flannel with a Rage Against The Machine shirt. 

“Let’s go ‘Kasa.” She pressed down a kiss on Mikasa’s nose and made their way down to the driveway with Reiner giving them an overexaggerated catcall upon seeing the pair hand in hand. 

“Seriously? So in the span of a week you go from at each other's throats to down each other’s throat?” He laughed at the horrible joke.

“Fuck you. That’s disgusting. At least I can get someone to love me.” Annie rolled her eyes. 

“Harsh.” He sighed before getting out of the front seat. “I’ll hop in the back, you know me I’m a big boy. I want you and your girlfriend to be together.” He acted overly sweet as Mikasa sat down next to Annie in the passenger seat. 

“I haven’t introduced myself properly, I’m Bertolt Hoover.” The boy stuck his hand out over Annie’s lap. He was polite, she liked that a lot more than the vulgar blonde athlete. “Nice to meet you. Mikasa, but you already knew that.” She shook his hand.

“Alright ladies let’s go already! I’m dying to get blasted!” They could hear Reiner yell from the bed of the truck. 

“Hold on.” Annie turned the radio up so that it drowned him out, playing a SAMURAI song as Bertolt drove them toward the house she rested her head against Annie’s shoulder.

“This’ll be a blast.” Annie smiled


	4. I Need To Feel Needed And I Need It More Than I Let On.

The ride to Hitch’s house was quieter than Annie expected, Reiner gave up on any questions after being drowned out by the glorious screams of Oliver Sykes and Dennis Lynxzen. 

Bertolt only asked a few questions, superficial ones at best. He also noted Mikasa’s impeccable taste in music, which caused the slightest blush on her face.

“Oh! I can’t believe I didn’t ask this, are you two okay with us talking about you? I get it if this is a secret between the four of us.” He sheepishly asked, looking ahead at the road. The rays of orange sunlight landed on Mikasa’s face, Annie couldn’t help but smile at how fucking beautiful she looked.

“You okay with that ‘Kasa?” She would be the first to admit that it was a god-awful pet name, but anything was better than babe considering they’d only been an item for all of ten minutes.

“Yes. I have no need for societal reputation.” Mikasa explained as she held Annie close, squeezing the smaller girl tightly against her body. God she was cute. 

“So’m I. So I guess go wild, but if anyone makes any gay jokes or whatever I’m breakin’ their knees.” Annie warned. Bertolt only smiled at her as she tried not to break into a mushy mess of affection. 

“We’re almost there, so break it up, lovebirds. As cute as you are, I can’t look like a third wheel.” He joked, his humour had its own charm for being so blatantly unfunny.

\--

Mikasa had been fiddling with her scarf for a while as the car pulled into Hitch’s driveway, the house already packed. They preferred to be fashionably late anyway. 

“I’m heading out, I still have to explain myself to Eren and Armin. I will see you inside in the kitchen, okay?” Mikasa smiled at Annie, which was already enough to make her heart melt. The strongest contender though, was the sweet taste of Mikasa’s lips on hers for a second before she walked inside. Reiner followed along, probably either pestering her, making sure she was safe (as if she needed it) or to fuck with Eren. That last one was pretty fuckin’ funny. 

Right as she was about to head out too, having just fixed her minimal amounts of make-up and the SAMURAI tank top she decided on, Bertolt stopped her “Sorry but uhm… Annie, do you think maybe Mikasa is like me?” He asked

“You mean on the spectrum? I guess, I mean you two are kinda similar. But the only way to know is asking. You can do it, big guy.” She shrugged, she never gave it much thought. It’s not like Mikasa being autistic would make Annie love her any less. Though maybe she would have special needs…

“I know it’s weird, it’s just nice having a friend who gets it you know?” He looked in through the windows as he jammed ear plugs into his ears. “Especially someone like her. Seriously, Annie. For all your flings and failed relationships, I think she’s going to stick.”

“I getcha Bertie, don’t worry. If you’re so bothered why not ask? I can if you want?” That earned her a nod “And hey, don’t bad talk my exes, capice?” 

“Oh- Sorry about that.” He rubbed the back of his neck, flinching slightly when Annie playfully punched his shoulder. 

“Let’s go, I’m dyin’ to get blasted… or laid… both. Both is good.” Annie ended her small monologue, ruffling her shoulder length hair and letting it out of it’s bun.

The pair walked into Hitch’s house as the music shook their bodies, she could feel the thump of the beat to some top 100 hits song in her bones. 

“Heeeey~!” An overly cheery voice could be heard, causing Annie to look to her side. 

“I’ve been waiting for you!” Hitch ran up to the pair, but only seemed to care about Annie. Oh she was definitely checking Annie out.

“I’ll try and find Reiner, okay?” Bertolt was gonna leave her alone with Hitch. Fuckin’ great, she’d have to explain how she was suddenly an item with Mikasa now. 

“Wh- Hey!” It was already too late, she was the last man standing. Bert’s cocky grin when he left didn’t help either.

“Wha’d’ya say I take you up to my room, we get hot n’ heavy and you stay the night later?” Hitch said way too loudly…Christ, she’d get fucked (pun intended) in every outcome. 

Hitch’s purple led’s made her all the cuter too, but she’s a kept woman now. At least for now, if this thing works out- nope. Not going down that train of thought. 

“Uhh… about that, I gotta introduce you to someone.” She could feel her heart race, thin beads of sweat forming on Annie’s forehead as Hitch’s finger traced up her, if she could say so herself, impressive biceps. 

“Oh? You got a new girl who wants to join in do ya?” She let out a devilish laugh, oh she was shitfaced alright.

“Wha- hey no. It’s not like that.” Annie shook her head, trying to salvage the situation. Praying to God Mikasa couldn’t see them, she removed Hitch’s hands from her body.

“Jeez Annie, live a lil’ what crawled up your vagina?” Hitch asked and rolled her eyes “But not like… in a coerce-ey way. Whatever that means. If you’re not down, you’re not. Still… I wanna meet the chica that got your panties in a twist.”

“Ugh… remind me why we hang out?” Annie asked as she took Hitch’s hand, for the first time in ages it wasn’t their typical couples-y handholding. It felt weird, but good weird.

“Because I fix you the good shit at a marginally lower price than anyone in the state would? Or is it my dashing good looks?” Hitch asked with a giggle as they entered the kitchen to find Eren, Armin, and most importantly: Mikasa.

“Hey.” Annie smiled over at her girlfriend. Woah… girlfriend. That felt good.

“Hey.” Mikasa’s voice sounded tender, causing Eren and Armin to shoot them some confused looks. 

“You tell them, or nah?” Annie asked Mikasa, now it was Hitch’s turn to put two-and-two together.

“Wait a sec- are you two…?” Eren squinted his eyes, tilting his head slightly to the side. 

“Oh! That’s what this is!” Hitch exclaimed “You’re boning her now!” 

“No! Hell no! I mean, not like I don’t want to! I-I do! Just not only boning her! What the hell am I saying?! Ugh!” Annie grumbled to herself, hiding her blush with her hands as Armin gave them a warm smile.

“I see.. So that’s why you turned me down in middle school isn’t it?” He didn’t seem upset at all, he was actually happy for her. Mikasa had good friends, it seems.

“Yeah… full on homo. Sorry I didn’t tell you, but you seemed head over heels for him too.” Annie explained with a nervous chuckle. 

“Well, color me impressed Leonhardt. You got yourself a real looker, honestly she’s on my level. What’s your name, beautiful?” Hitch seemed to be checking Mikasa out too now. Un-fucking-believable. 

“Mikasa, Ackerman.” Was all she said “I would appreciate if you could stop looking at me like that , I only have my eye on Annie.”

“Yeesh! She’s got spunk, I like her. So, what? You’re completely solo for her now?” Hitch asked with a small pout.

“Kept woman, end of. Not that I don’t think we can be friends, but uhh… I’ve got something with her y’know?” Annie tried to explain, God… the last thing she wanted was to hurt Hitch.

“Guess my hunch was right, you were just a lesbian for her.” Eren teased Mikasa, who punched his shoulder.

“I’m bi, you ass.” She groaned and held Annie’s hand, soft and tender.

“I see you’ve taken after her too.” Armin joked and held Eren close. 

“Yeah, you guys mind if I borrow my girl real quick? I wanna spend some quality time with MikMik here.” In all honesty it sounded like she was gonna take Mikasa upstairs and do her, which certainly wasn’t off the table but it wasn’t exactly her intention.

“I refuse to be called that ever again, but yes. I’m going with her.” Annie wanted to kiss her so bad, but the curse of being tiny struck again.

Annie led Mikasa into Hitch’s closet, not the most romantic or comfortable space ever but it would do in terms of privacy.

“Hey uhh… I just wanna apologise about Hitch. She can be a handful and I’ve only got eyes on you, okay?” Annie raised a brow as she looked up, into Mikasa’s beautiful steely blues

“I understand, she may be insufferable but I will endure for the sake of my-” Mikasa stopped herself, were they going too fast?

“For your…?” Annie teased as she edged closer to Mikasa. 

“My girlfriend. It still feels weird to say.” She let out a nervous laugh and rested her head on Annie’s shoulder, bending down slightly.

The flicker of the lights in the living room slips in through the cracks of the door, illuminating Mikasa’s face in the beautiful blue hues. 

“I hope we’re not moving too fast.” Annie tried her best to sound confident, but what came out was broken, vulnerable. 

“What even is too fast? If we are both ready, then who cares?” Mikasa asked, burying her face in the crook of Annie’s neck.

“I do. I want this to be as amazing as we both want it to be.” Annie sighed, all these thoughts were running through her head. 

“I know, and it will be. With you, I’m the best version of myself I could possibly be according to how I was before.” Mikasa’s voice was getting softer by the minute.

“I think…” Annie lifted Mikasa’s head up from her neck and cupped it between her hands while still making her bend over.

“I should give you your first proper kiss.” she edged closer and closer.


End file.
